If you can learn to deal with PEOPLE in social situations you will have a lot more power over others. It becomes easier making friends, it gets easier talking to and attracting beautiful women; and it becomes easier dealing with difficult people you come across.

People are EVERYWHERE. And even if you don’t have money, shelter and food taken care of, you’re STILL dealing with people.

The reality is in today’s world having SOCIAL SKILLS is your biggest asset.

Not only because you’re always surrounded by others…but because having social skills is something you can’t EASILY learn. There aren’t many people who can teach it to you because it’s expected that you pick it up on your own.

Here’s the problem, if you’re shy, socially awkward or introverted dealing with people can be 100 times worse than the average guy. If you are shy, socially awkward or introverted you know what I mean.

It’s also hard because there’s NO-ONE you can really learn this stuff from. Take conversation skills for example, if you’re a male at least 24 years of age don’t you think by now you should’ve picked up from someone how to generate AMAZING conversation skills, maybe on a date? There must’ve been someone in those 24 years that you met.

The bottom line is no one is going to tell you how to solve these problems. It’s all a hit-and-miss guess. This is also why dealing with people is one of the biggest problems you face, when you have shyness and social anxiety against you.

I’ll tell you a secret; there’s little known techniques that attracts ten times more friends around you and there’s techniques to help you become the person who constantly gets invited to popular gatherings, parties, get-together etc… Not only that but there’s methods to handle difficult people in your life in a way where they won’t mess with you again. And it’s methods no one really knows about.

I spent the last several years studying psychology and I found some pretty amazing things about how people behave in social environments. I found out what it is that makes certain people more desirable than others. I found out what it is that makes certain MEN more attractive to women than others (and it doesn’t have anything to do with looks as you might think). I discovered why bullies and jerks don’t try to bother a certain type of Man. And I’ve discovered how you can learn to be all these. (No I’m not joking)

I actually put together all this information into a book with step-by-step guide lines to follow along with in-depth psychology of how and 

It can get very uncomfortable when you throw yourself into places like clubs and parties where you don’t know how to fit in.

And quite often you’ll find very outgoing people hanging around in these places.

If you learn how to be more outgoing it feels like an open ticket to just about any social environment, it’s incredibly easy to fit in afterwards.

The reason you’re not comfortable in the party and club scene is because you probably stay away from it.

It’s a matter of getting familiar in that environment.

So your job is to surround yourself in these places whenever you can. You’ll see it’s easier to orient yourself as you go out more and more and confidence is built because it doesn’t feel foreign anymore.

Yeah I get it, it’s daunting and intimidating just going through this process but remember the key on how to be more outgoing is FAMILIARITY.

Fortunately there’s 3 steps that will make this process much easier for you.

Step 1 The first thing I want you to do is get yourself a wing-man.

In the dating world a wing-man is someone who helps you out while you’re trying to get a woman’s phone number. But in this case the purpose of your wing-man is to go to social events with you. Ideally he’s just as shy or introverted as you are and wants to change that.

Step 2 Go to social events with your wing-man whether it’s parties, clubs or wherever. Make it a habit, so this time if you’re feeling intimidated or left out at parties you’re not alone.

Step 3 Start conversations together. Go up to people you want to speak to and say something. When they respond to what you said make sure it’s your wing-man who responds back. And this rolls into a natural group dynamic with a simple yet effective conversation technique.

You’ll find that how to be more outgoing is less daunting when you use this strategy. As you do it more often your confidence begins to grow.

There is a last and final Step 4 that’s more advanced and in-depth but it takes me a bit longer to go through that one. If you want the last step and finalize this technique right now

How about this, you’re with a group of people and the guys don’t seem to like you for some reason, and they marginalize you making you feel out of place?

There’s little known social techniques you can use to prevent these situations from happening. When you can learn to not only avoid these instances but prevent them before it happens it gets much easier to overcome shyness.

When situations like these happen most people would try to get the approval of the guys to fit in. Sounds like a reasonable strategy doesn’t it?

WRONG! Alright if that was your way of thinking it’s not your fault.

You’ll hear me say this a lot: Shy guys try to fit in by doing the same things over and over again but have it never work out. The reason is the obvious and logical solution to social dynamics is almost always NOT the right answer.

If it was that simple wouldn’t a lot of guys have figured out how to overcome shyness?

Fortunately for you even guys who seem social, those guys who marginalize you, even they make the mistake of doing what seems obvious. And you can use this to play to your advantage.

When guys are in the presence of a woman (especially an attractive woman) will kiss her ass, put her on a pedestal, act awkward to get her attention, approval, and at the end of the day try to get into her pants.

They hand over power to her without giving it a second thought. EVERY guy in the group wants to be liked by the woman.

If you can become the guy who’s not drooling all over her, and talk to her just like a regular person…you know not-hit-on-her. If she’s cool with you, others won’t try to mess with you because it risks losing her approval and their chances with her. Better yet, if she’s attracted to you then its game over, you can do or say whatever you want and the guys will not argue (that’s another lesson all together).

Most guys in the group will want her attention and approval. And if you already have hers then you automatically get everyone else’s respect. It’s a short-cut.

Instead of trying to get on EVERYONE’S good side you do it with one or two key people and instantly you’re “IN”.

If you want to learn more on how to attract more friends, overcome shyness, handle bullies and literally dominate the social environment

Admit it. At some level those war movies, secret assassins, ninja & samurai wars, Spartans…they call to you.

Note: This is a sample of the Ebook. Click here to view the Ebook page.

I’d say pound for pound there are more men out there who like these movies than there are women. Don’t you think?

Why?

I thought we’re supposed to be in the age of men liking what women like and women liking what men like.

You’re not going to find very many women who are mesmerized by bullets flying, choppers exploding and bad-guy-ass-kicking.

If by any chance you’re a woman reading this thinking “I like all that” then DUDEee you need to call me, I’ve been searching for you all my life.

The rest of you stay focused!

I’ve studied psychology for a number of years now and I found something very interesting. It’s that men and women are wired differently. We’re not the same. On a larger scale there are different things that we men are drawn to.

When we watch action movies there’s something that stirs us up inside and we connect with it. Something very primal that we don’t experience often, or should I say in modern times that aspect of life is virtually erased. It’s a key as to why it’s hard to overcome social anxiety.

In the ancient times men recognized this innate part of us and cultivated it and developed it embracing a part of us that in this day and age is suppressed. You might say “Well, cultivating that part of us that wants action and adventure will turn us into a dumb brute.” And I say “Bullshit”.

When you can cultivate that innate natural part of you it gives you PERSONALITY. Think of it as developing a natural foundation on top of which personality and character is built. It’s one of the factors that gives us substance.

When that “foundation” isn’t nurtured and brought out the way it’s supposed to it causes shyness, social anxiety, and social awkwardness.

THAT’S one of the major factors of shyness because the structure isn’t completely there to support your personality. It’s when you go up to people to talk and don’t entirely feel comfortable with yourself.

Heavy isn’t it?

Click here to view Ebook page.

Alright take a deep breath. You can actually eliminate that problem.

There is a way to get out of that shyness, build a strong, powerful personality that people are magnetically drawn to and commands respect. Not only that but you can attract the types of people you want around you and have the kind of social life style you’ve always wanted just by changing a few things about you.

Here’s how you do it… Have you seen those guys who are naturally powerful in social environments, who can walk up to people and start a conversation and they’re not even nervous?

You need to find those guys and HANG-OUT with them.

The fortunate thing about us is we pick up and LEARN from the examples of others. You know that saying “Monkey see-Monkey do?” Yeah, if you can surround yourself with a few guys who are exceptional in the social environment and have the traits you are looking for you’ll start to get it.

Go do it right now!

If you’re thinking “Well I don’t really know how to connect with those people.” Then you need to learn things like conversation skills (learning it is a good step to overcome social anxiety), you need to learn how to attract people around you. If you want conversation skills that glues people to what you have to say next, be able to walk up to women at bars and have them like you, get invited to cool social gatherings, have an edge in virtually any social interaction right now click here to view the ebook page that tells you exactly how to do that.

Your friend,

Chris C.

Photo Credit: Jennifer Ellison

I’ve seen over the years that shy men have an air of “I’ll always be nice no matter what.” They are easily forgiving of others regardless of what the situation is.

Overly NICE guys also tend to remember things others did even though on the outside he’s forgiving about it; and these incidents just keep piling up more and more.

And after reflecting “Why are they so nice even after being ‘pushed’ around?” I realized it came down to one factor.

That behavior comes from FEAR.

And here’s what really makes nice guys finish last…

When others are disapproving of us we feel the need to be even NICER just so we don’t lose whatever is left of their approval.

This is dangerously wrong and the results are quite the opposite. They can see you’ll do whatever it takes to hold on to acceptance and approval and they’ll keep as much of it away as possible. This is so you continue going the extra mile for whatever is left. It leaves you feeling exhausted, tired and sometimes confused as to why your efforts seldom get you lasting results.

Once upon a time that was ME, back when I didn’t have a clue.

The solution is to do the exact opposite. When others do something towards you that you don’t like make sure to show your displeasure towards it. Make YOUR attention and approval more scarce and therefore more valuable.

When it comes to treading over your personal time, property and your self-respect have less tolerance over others.

But don’t do it in a way where you freak-out. If someone always flakes on you when you’re supposed to meet and they only bother to keep in touch over the internet or the phone. Just cut them away, stop talking to them, stop replying to their text messages. Months later they’ll ask why you guys lost in touch (usually that’s when things aren’t going well for them and You come to mind as their last resort).

Just say along the lines of “All those times you flaked spoke a lot louder than you sitting behind the computer screen typing ‘yeah we haven’t seen each other in a while.’ So I left it at that.”

Depending whether it’s male or female you’ll talk different. But I found the flakiness is mostly an issue with females.

If you want to learn more about why nice guys finish last, things you could be doing right now that sabotages your chances with girls and standing out in groups 

The reason is authors of these self-help books and products base their techniques on satisfying an insecurity.

They don’t work on handling the insecurity, they work on providing the demand it creates.

Here’s a typical dating/sex advice I’ve seen in numerous occasions from several authors:

“If she says ‘not tonight’ you should punish her by not giving her attention. If she does something you like you should reward her by giver her more attention.”

My question is…if she doesn’t want to have sex tonight why do you feel the need to act on it? The basis of it being…she says “not tonight” guy feels that ping of rejection, and to compensate for it uses a mental “combat” technique.

If you haven’t caught that, what the technique is doing is feeding the insecurity. They see your insecurity and start egging it on And…creating a self-perpetual loop that’s hard to get out of.

A lot of these books provide great advice, the unfortunate thing is “feeding insecurity” is weaved in so you’re always looking for ways to stay ahead of the “game”. When actually it’s just a loop, being the illusion that you’re ahead.

It’s to keep you coming back. It doesn’t make you hungry for knowledge, it just makes you want more of the exact same information.

So who’s most vulnerable to these tactics? It’s shy, socially awkward or introverted men who keep coming back for more because the underlying message being delivered is “you need to stay ahead”.  Sending the message that you’ll get left behind.

How do I know this? Well, I went through dozens of such programs like dating, relationships etc… and what I found is that most of them SUCK! Yet they’re selling like hot cakes.

I have yet to see a book or program out there that says “Here are the techniques to make a woman BEG to be with you. But if she’s acting up and you’re not getting the sex that you want then there’s probably some deeper underlying issue between you two. Simply leave… and end on a good note. Because the techniques I just taught you will get you more women than you can handle instead of wasting time playing games.”

Why would you want to “pretend” to be ready to walk away? Just do it when you two are still on good terms.

In order to get out of that insecurity “loop” and find something that WORKS you need to find advice that focuses on deeper issues. The brains that we are born with today isn’t radically different from the brains people were born with 30years ago. We might have different societal cultures but essentially we play out the same game from thousands of years ago.

It’s still a mating game, it’s still a status game, getting acceptance etc…

So there’s fundamental wiring inside of us that we can work with. These “wiring” provides more effective strategies than your surface level techniques that you have to constantly replenish.

If you want examples of deeper underlying dynamics that are unchanging read some of the articles I wrote on:

Sex, Women and Shyness | Overcome Shyness | How To Start A Conversation | Fear of Rejection

Now…

I also wrote an ebook about the deeper more powerful aspects of social dynamics and self-help that I won’t refer to you yet. Check out some of my articles and if you think they make sense and you’re ready then you can check out what the ebook has to offer because IT’S NOT for everyone.

But if you feel compelled and want to read about it anyway click here to find out more. See if you resonate with any of the stuff I talk about. And if you do, I highly recommend you get it because you won’t find it anywhere else.

Talk to you again,

Chris C.

Photo Credit: Graur Codrin

What it usually boils down to is ONE traumatic event from somewhere deep in the past. Maybe he asked a girl out and everyone found out he got rejected; that’s where his fear of rejection comes from and prevents him from ever approaching again. Maybe he was picked on as he grew up and that forced him to have low self-esteem. Once we figure out what those one or two events are generally what happens is a flood of painful emotion comes back.

Its reasonable to predict future events based on this ONE event from our past. But it’s not sound logic. I asked my shy friend to approach a group he wants to talk to and instantly he froze up. It’s in a setting where he knew no one but me. This happens to not only him but many others who have a fear of rejection.

After doing some digging we figured out his real fear is that I’M present. That whatever the outcome is I’ll always remember, and that’s embarrassing for him. It explained why he was less shy when he’s on vacation in other countries, where he gets to goof off with his close friends and never worry if anyone will remember him.

Another thing I found interesting is that whatever the ULTIMATE embarrassing scenario is, it almost never happens. Or it never happens to the extent as we imagine it to be.

The fastest way I found to get over the fear of rejection is to take baby steps. Do whatever it is you’re afraid of socially but do it in small extents. For example if you and your friend are sitting at a café or bar and you want to speak to an attractive woman…start a conversation with your friend, something interesting maybe something you guys disagree on and then turn to her and say “Hey what do YOU think is the right answer?”

This way you and your friend started the conversation together with her. Do things in groups or pairs.

This makes it easier to overcome fear of rejection. Another method is learning conversation skills that sets you up to not have this problem to begin with, learn what makes people distance themselves from you, ways to neutralize rejection and learn exact psychology so

The thing is, it’s not even your fault. You do your best to come off friendly to others but somehow they misinterpret you to be stuck-up, rude, or worse…creepy.

Conversation is the building block behind bonding in social groups. Even those who are mute use sign language to bond and communicate with others.

The fact of the matter is your likability factor goes up dramatically when you can learn how to start a conversation. But how do you go about doing it?

Most people who have trouble figuring out what to say next usually employ a mechanical approach to conversation.

What’s a mechanical approach?

Mechanical is when you have a break in your conversation because you’re trying to think along the lines of what was said before. When you reflect on what was just said (the topic) figuring out how to continue on it. And you feel stuck because you don’t know what to say next. You can have all the topics in the world but if you use mechanical response you’ll destroy every conversation topic out there.

Whereas there’s another approach, where you have a topic and branch out smoothly to any other subject YOU DESIRE. It’s something I’ve used for a long time and haven’t shared with anyone until I wrote this blog. With my inner circle of friends it’s known as the “abstract method”.

Think of the most BORING topics like the rainy weather. Would you know what to say next? Well you know there’s this place up on the mountains I’m not sure where. But it’s shaped like a massive brick, a plateau. Basically all that happens up there is rain 24/7, like a tropical jungle. I would love to have a little hut up there to just get away. I saw it on msn.com as one of the top exotic places for vacation.

Speaking of vacation what’s your favorite places to travel?

From Cancun Mexico and it’s party life (party life – which you can talk about.)

To Rome with its historic architecture from the ancient times. (And you can talk about history.)

Connect from one idea to another and transition in such a way. That’s when you’re VERSATILE in conversation and people are comfortable being around you because you can talk about ANYTHING.

That’s an extended version. You if you’re really good you can go from rainy weather to favorite vacations without that stuff in between. It’s how much content you want in your conversation. If you have trouble figuring out what to say next do the extended version and get started.

Now…if you want to learn how to start a conversation that not only gets people interested but gets women GLUED to what you have to say next, a method that becomes ten times more effective you should 

Why is it when most of us see a women like this we immediately start to think of all the different scenarios we could be with her in… and why is it when socially savvy men see this the only thought in their mind is…”That’s for me.”

When shy men find themselves in these situations we like to “figure out” how we can get her to like us.

We don’t really know what to do…and worse once she leaves that’s when all the brilliant things to say come to mind.

The thing is when shy men are in environments of sexual vibe we freeze up. We’re not comfortable with these scenarios where the emotions take over our body and we don’t know how to act.

Socially savvy men on the other hand don’t have this problem. Here’s the reason why “how to attract women” is intuitive for THEM. That same emotion causing you to freeze up and act uncertain compels them to get up and do something with it. They feel a surge in their body and causes them to talk and behave while being immersed in it…even if he’s sitting casually in a coffee shop talking to her.

Women can tell who’s comfortable during those situations when such emotions come up. It’s subtle and unconscious even for her…that’s when she gets that feeling he’s “sexually aware”.

So why aren’t shy men comfortable in these scenarios?

It has to do with societal upbringing and a missing piece in modern society. And that missing piece is a male rite of passage – specifically the role model aspect of it. There is specific hard-wiring in our brains that hasn’t been activated from proper role models. You see, in this day and age many sons grow up without fathers, or without fathers regularly being around.

It could be fathers being always at work to simply neglecting sons. Boys grow up into Men without having that influence and don’t have a role model to figure out how to deal with our own emotional processes. We walk around without that piece and it causes us to literally short-circuit in social settings.

It goes even deeper and has to do with our biology but I won’t get into detail because it’ll take pages to explain.

Learning how to attract women has several different roads one of which is NOT doing the things that repel them. If you need to learn how to overcome shyness with women, learn strategies that not only increases your chances of getting a woman’s phone number but also has her asking you for it right now

Hope is not lost though, you can learn to tackle this obstacle if you have the right tools and structure behind it. And that’s what I’m going to talk about here.

When you learn how to overcome shyness you’ll be able to walk up to people you don’t even know and start a conversation without problems. You’ll begin to feel confident more and more from being able to just talk to others.

One of the reasons it’s hard to overcome shyness is because we “think” a lot. We’re cerebral. Most of us don’t realize this but there’s several types of “thinking”. You already know of one which is the  cerebral and here’s the second, behavioral thinking.

Cerebral is when you plan things out and strategize like a chess game, it’s also where you have inner dialogue going. Have you seen that fight scene in the latest Sherlock Holmes played by Robert Downey Jr where he thinks of all the ways he’ll hit the guy and then does it? That’s cerebral.

Behavioral on the other hand is very different and contrary to what people think it’s FASTER. It’s when you’re jogging on a trail and see that rock in front of you and naturally avoid it…in that moment you don’t think to yourself “Okay, there’s an obstacle…if I go left this outcome will happen, if I go right something else will happen.” If you thought it out it’d probably be too late and you’d trip on that rock.

The problem is most shy men approach the social game from a cerebral level when it’s actually a behavioral game and we “trip on that rock” so-to-speak. To learn how to overcome shyness you have to take a different approach.

The “Social Game” sits on behavioral thinking. One of the ways to get to that level is by learning conversation skills and applying them when we’re out…and getting feedback through the behaviors of others.

You NEED to go out and have good conversations so you get behavioral feedback. There is a second part to this solution. What that piece is, is how to prevent behaviors that cause negative reactions from people. If you need to learn how to have conversation skills, overcome shyness, handle bullies, attract more friends and be a more social man